Change in Plan

Okay, so I haven't lost any weight in the past week, but I have learned something very important: I have to change the way I'm doing this. I can no longer think of this as a weight loss plan, because if it's a weight loss plan, then I'm allowed to sneak things in and make up for them later. Only later never comes. So, I'm no longer going to be dealing with the Battle of the Bulge, but rather it's going to be a Fight Against Food.

Food may not the be enemy in general, but it's my enemy, the one I love and hate. I know the main cause of my being overweight is food, not lack of exercise, and I know that because I have been anything but inactive this week and still did not lose a pound, or even part of a pound. I did not exercise as much as I wanted or as much as I could have, but still, I truly don't think my problem is exercise. My problem is food, so I have to focus on that.

So, my new plan is to reward myself based on how well I eat in combination with the weight I lose, with more emphasis on the food. I'm going to 'grade' myself on how well I'm eating, based on the number of calories I consume. At the end of the week I'll give myself one grade for the weight I have or haven't lost. Then I'll average all 8 grades to come up with my grade for the week, then I'll reward myself based on that grade. I know that this doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be eating the best way I can according to the food pyramid and such, but I think it will mean that I'll lose weight, since weight loss is based on calories in vs. calories out. Now, my reward is going to be a monetary reward to myself, which I can spend at any time, or save until I can buy something I really want. So here are the grading scales:

Food
A 1200-1300 Calories
B 1301-1400 Calories
C 1401-1500 Calories
D 1501-1600 Calories
F 1601 Calories and above

Weight Loss
A 2.0 lbs
B 1.5 lbs
C 1.0 lbs
D .5 lbs
F 0 lbs or weight gain

Reward
A $10.00
B $7.50
C $5.00
D $1.50
F $0.00

This system will also force me to keep track of the food I'm eating so I'll know what grade to award myself at the end of the day. That's supposed to help, so we'll see if it works.

New Resolve (again)

Ok, so I'm going to try really hard to get back on this thing...again. I don't know why it's so hard for me to stick to dieting and exercise, but it is. All those articles that say you shouldn't consider it to be a diet are just wrong, IMO. If you are eating anything or nothing, no matter what it is, you are on a 'diet'. Everyone is on a diet, whether it be McDonald's for breakfast lunch and dinner, or the most strict vegan diet imaginable. It's still a diet.

Now, I'm sure what they mean is don't consider it a diet in the common sense of the word, which carries with it connotations of deprivation and starvation. Still, this doesn't work for me, because if I can't pity myself just a little, I go overboard without even hesitating, plus I know in the back of my mind that I'm not supposed to be eating whatever bad thing it is, and that, to me, is a diet. So, yes, I AM ON A DIET. Everybody else can call their eating plan whatever they want, mine is a DIET, because that's the only way it works for me.

So about this exercise thing. I hate exercising. It doesn't make me feel good. I don't enjoy the thought of it, actually doing it, or any feeling I happen to have afterward. I never feel energized or 'pumped', and it never seems to get easier. I don't know what is up with that, but as of now it doesn't matter. Just like I don't enjoy eating healthy food (although I do get the touted benefits from that) but I know it's necessary, I don't like exercise, but I know it's necessary, so I will suffer through it.

Finally, I always struggle with the doing this for myself mentality. I also don't know why this is so hard for me, because I know I can be quite selfish at times. Maybe it's because while I know this will benefit me in the long run, I've always struggled with a love of instant gratification. If I think a change should be happening now, I want to see it happen now. If I can have a little time to read or watch TV now and work longer later, or work for a little while now and relax for a long time later, I'd rather relax now and work longer later. It's weird, I know, but it just seems to be the way my brain is wired. I'm also really bad about procrastinating. I would much rather be under pressure to get something done than to start as soon as possible and have it done far before the deadline. I try really hard to not do that, but sometimes I just work better under pressure, so that turns into an excuse. So maybe all together I don't have a problem doing this for me, but doing it for my future self, if that makes sense. I can't see a immediate reward, and I'm not in immediate danger of any medical problems, so I have no incentive or pressure. Ok, sometimes self-analyzation works, so now that I have my problems down in words maybe I can work to change it a little more efficiently that I have been.

So what does all this boil down to? I'm putting a deadline on myself, and I just have to trust that I'll see the rewards eventually.

My deadline: May 1.
My goal: Lose at least 5 lbs, and some inches (I'm not sure what a reasonable goal is for the inches because I've never tracked that before).
My incentive: If I reach my goal I will buy a new outfit for work. :)

Plan: I will eat healthy and I will do some form of exercise for at least 30 minutes every day (except Sunday). I will weigh in every Wednesday and only on Wednesday, and take measurements.

Back on the Bandwagon

Ok, so in five months I've only lost seven pounds. I'm not very happy with myself, but I'm going to start again, and try to get this finished. It will happen this time. I will want to give up, but I won't. I will want to have 'rewards', but I won't. I will want to be lazy, but I won't. This has to stop. I can't keep going and fooling myself into thinking that I can re-start my diet tomorrow just because I screwed up today. Tomorrow ends up never coming. I'm starting today, despite the fact that I had Chick-fil-a for breakfast, and I don't feel like exercising. I'm starting today, and hopefully I'll be done by June.