Day 29

193.3! Still on track for my goal of 60 lbs in a year. Which means that this time next year, I'll be done with my diet. And I haven't even been really good this month, so if I continue to be strict with myself like I've done the past week or so, I might finish early! 193 is still pretty heavy, but it's starting to feel good to step on the scale every morning because I know I'm doing something about it. The results are a good motivator too. Once I lose another 10 lbs I'll be down to my lowest weight that I remember. It's a little depressing to think about because I was down to that before the wedding and if I hadn't gotten off track on the honeymoon or if I had come back and gone right back to the diet I would be lower then that now. I would be in the 170's. I never remember weighing that little. But I'll get there. No matter what happens, I will get there.

Day 27

Okay, so I didn't post every day...or every week. Or at all.
I had a bad week and didn't want to admit it, and then I had an okay couple of days, and then I really got back on track. Now I'm down to 194.2. Woohoo!
Michael and I went to the beach on Saturday, stayed for the night. That really motivated me because he wanted me to get a 2-piece suit, so I tried on a few, and looked really bad. Really, really bad. Michael didn't agree, but I knew I wasn't going outside in those things, so I didn't buy one. I told him we would try again when I lose some more weight.
We also had a talk about how his eating habits affect me, and he's trying to be more supportive. I think he's really starting to understand the psychological side to my eating. The other day I said I wanted some chocolate and he just told me 'no' and walked over and hugged me for a few minutes. That was all I really needed. It helped me relax and feel comforted, which is what chocolate does without the unpleasant side effect of extra calories, anger at myself, and sadness.
He's also helping me with my exercise goals by encouraging me to go the gym and even stay little past my normal workout so I don't worry about getting home so fast. Sometimes he even starts dinner before I get home so I have less to do and we don't eat so late. He's always been good about doing that kind of thing if I ask him, but now he's taking the initiative. Life is good. :)

Day Eight

Here's where seeing the forest through the trees begins. I was back up to 196.3 this morning. Am I going to freak out about a tenth of a pound? No, because I choose not to. Through my first week of dieting, I lost about 1.5 lbs. I'll take it for the forest, and ignore the trees for a bit.
Still waiting on my day off. I'm going to make myself meet my exercise goals before I allow a day off. I know from past experience that I can really go overboard on a day off, so I need to be sure I can make up for it and keep going before I take that chance. My exercise goal is to go to Curves every weekday, and do the Strapless Dress workout I was using before the wedding on the weekends. If I can do that over the next week, I'll consider taking a day off from the diet, but not the exercise. I hate exercise, so that has to be the thing I focus on most. I can stay busy and ignore food altogether for a few hours, but exercise is a thing too easy to avoid, and I can't afford to avoid it.

Day Seven

Lost another tenth of a pound, to put me at 196.2. Back on track, and I'm going to Curves this afternoon. Exercising every day is a goal I haven't been able to meet yet, but I know I'll get there. Today is supposed to be my first day off, but I'm going to wait and see if I really need it today. I kinda like the idea of knowing that I have one coming to me, rather than having to wait for it. This way I can take it any time I like, and the longer I go without it, the easier it will be to get back on track after it.
Michael says he can tell I've lost weight. It's only a few pounds so far, so I think he's just being encouraging, but I like it all the same. :)

Day Six

I gained .2 lbs, to bring it back up to 196.3. Still less than I started, and still on track to lose at least 5 lbs this month, so I'll take it. Maybe seeing the effects of the weekend? Sometimes it can take a few days for stuff like that to show up, I'm told. Anyway, I'll 'just keep swimming'.

:)

Day Five

This morning my weight was 196.1. Woohoo! Staying on track through the weekend (which included having friends over on Saturday and Sunday night, for steak and burgers respectively). BTW, I feel I should clarify: I won't post my weight every day, but every weekday. I'm in front of a computer screen all day at work, so on the weekends I prefer not to get on. :)

Chocolate

Mmmm, chocolate. My drug of choice. Kind of a problem when you are trying to lose weight. I'm training myself to ignore the temptation, and it's really hard. I can't just rid the house of all things sweet. My husband would kill me, and it would still leave me open to temptation everywhere else. And really pissed when I'm PMSing and there's no chocolate to be found. So I'm keeping my 'day off' stash at work. Right now I go at least five days without a day off. That's more days off than the recommended once-a-week, but my job is stressful and I'm not going to torture myself, especially since I'll go longer than that if I can. Once I take a day off the count starts over again; that way I can't say I went a whole month without a day off, and now I'm going to take four days off.
Anyway, I keep my day off stash at work. There's a two-fold purpose. The first is for the day off itself. With my stash at hand, I don't have to feel guilty about all the crap I buy on a day off and can't finish. I don't buy anything refrigerated or frozen, unless it's a single serving and I'm going to eat it right then. Therefore, anything I don't finish on the day off goes in the stash and waits for the next day off. The second purpose is that when it's not my day off I have a training tool. If I can ignore it while it's in a drawer in my office and I can have it without anyone knowing, then I can ignore it any time. It's working so far, but it's only half-way through day two. Still, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I've tried getting rid of all the temptation around me, and it doesn't work. Maybe this will. :)

Day Two

So today is day two, and this morning I weighed in at 197.5 lbs. Yesterday's weight was guesstimate, so I'm not going to jump up and down thinking I lost half a lb in one day. Weight also fluctuates for so many different reasons that I'm looking for more of a pattern than day to day weight loss, which is why I didn't give my weight loss goal in days, which would be silly. Still, it's a good way to start a pattern, even if it's a little off. :)

Motivation

I'm starting this blog to track my weight loss and fitness level. I'll enter my trials, temptations, plateaus, stresses and weight every day. I'm 5'4", currently 198 lbs. I want to lose at least 60 lbs in the next year, which is 5 lbs a month. My absolute deadline (even though you are not supposed to have one of those) is July 1, 2009, which is about 4.3 lbs per month. That is when I would like to start trying to get pregnant. I welcome all helpful comments, tips, advice, support, commiseration and anything else you'd like to add.
To meet my goal, I'm going to eat healthier, drink more water, and go to Curves almost every day. This is mostly for me and my future child(ren), but it's also for my husband, who is trying to be supportive, but I know he's tired of dirty looks from me every time he eats something fried or chocolaty in front of me.
I would say that I've been dieting on and off for about six years. Meaning I started my sophomore year in high school. This time it's going to work, and the weight is going to come off and stay off. I will not be a fat mother and wife!

P.S. If you would like to see my personal blog, please visit http://btwnhvnnhll.blogspot.com/